So...

I guess I lied before, way back in October when I said I was back.  Things just took off at a crazy pace.  They've settled down now, from what I can tell, and I'm working on a new project.  See, I got a digital camera for christmas, and I'm trying to make a case for it.  I've had two iterations so far, and each time I get a bit closer, however, it's still in the works.  I hope to have something more workable soon, and then I will post pictures (and maybe even a tutorial).  I've not found a good pattern from which to work, so I'm trying to do it on my own.  The technical difficulties are close to doing me in, but I have faith that I will get there soon.  

Besides, the baron is putting me to shame over there making 45 curtains a day and whatnot.

I'm Back

Hello. I'm back by popular (haha) demand. The air is getting cooler, the days are getting shorter, and house projects are winding down and finishing up. This means that I will now have more time on my hands. Which means needle and thread in my hands. First up pillows for sister. Next up, big big plans. Which may lead to my independent wealth. Wouldn't that be something?

I have a specific pillow thought, and that is: ZIPPERS!!!

Stay glued to this space, I think good things will be happening.

Wasteland

My house is a wasteland. Of yards of fabric, of remnants, of threads, tools and unfinished sewing projects. I've managed to hide most of it, save for a half finished pillow lying on the floor in the guest room. The pillow that I was in the middle of happily working on when I got the call from my mother to please meet her at the hospital, they had called 911, and things did not look good. Since that moment, my sewing world has not been the same. Neither has my world in general for that matter.

Perhaps this seems an odd place, a sewing blog, to memorialize a family member. To me, not so much. She is related to my sewing, and so I can easily see the connection. And connected not only to that half finished pillow with a blue dot in the middle made by a fabric pen to mark where the button needs to go--that I hate looking at.

One of the last times I saw her she had come to see my little house. The house we would not have had without her. That is not an exaggeration. Although bit tired and worn out, not feeling like her usual self, she walked in, took her time looking around, and took it all in. Really, there isn't much to take in. But she was seeing what it could be, seeing what I wanted it to be. She sat on the sofa, and talked about the rug I should get, the type of tv that would be perfect there. She walked into our new kitchen (also something we wouldn't have without her), and was pleased with what she saw. She talked about colors, what type of table would be best for dining. She was a visual person. She was an artist, a skilled painter, and perhaps to me a kindred spirit. She saw what I saw, and I'm glad she got to see it, glad that she was happy and approved.

Back in the living room, she spotted the pillow I had made, the one project I actually posted a picture of. She told me I should make them and sell them. "It's as good as anything they have at Pier One. You should sell these somewhere." This is not to toot my own horn. This is to give indication of how she was, of who she was. I, a novice sewer, with only one pillow under my belt should sell them? It's not a horrible first try, but it's far from perfect, that pillow. But still, she was adamant that I show it to people, create an inventory, and market them. My husband told me the other day about long talks he had with her in NJ, while everyone else was at the beach, about the way she always encouraged everyone to do the things they wanted to do, and my pillow making was no exception.

The thing about her is, she was never afraid. Maybe she became more cautious as she got older, but she was never afraid to do things. She took risks where other people wouldn't. She went roller skating on the 16th Street Bridge (the outside edge, no less!) when she was a child, she went out in bad weather in sailboats on the Potomac and nearly drowned. She sped through town in sports cars and trailed presidents to get their pictures. She took a cross country trip on a Greyhound bus. She bought houses when women didn't, when they couldn't. She said no to marriage proposal upon marriage proposal when women of her generation were expected to marry.

She's made things possible for myself, for my sister, for my mother and father, and now for my husband that wouldn't have happened without her. She has already made possible things for my children that have yet to exist. And for that we are more than grateful. We are indebted. Perhaps not to her (she wouldn't want it that way), but to each other, to friends, to family, to those that come after us to pass on those things of hers, whether they are tangible items, or just ideas. There is so much more to her than just one blog post. If you didn't know her you truly missed something wonderful. Sure she was eccentric, sometimes a pain, and even times bossy, but she knew what she was talking about whether we listened or not.

The weekend after she died, I tried to finish that pillow. I tried to make my new curtains. I was determined. I didn't have anything else to do. But the grief came out in frustration, and short tempers, and I couldn't concentrate on seam length, and straight lines. I still can't. Maybe soon. But for now I see that damn pillow and I can't concentrate. The sewing machine makes me want to throw something.

I know these things hold no fault, but they hold an unpleasant connection and right now the wound is too fresh. So, to my few (couple?) readers, I will apologize for my lack of sewing insight. You'll have to bear with me a few more weeks. There are other things happening, no time for sewing, and for now, I'm glad of that. But it will come back.

For now, my home is a wasteland of unfished projects, rolls of fabric, half sewn curtains and a lonely sewing machine. It won't last. Give it some time, and perhaps I'll even take a risk. Maybe she knew what she was talking about.

Tonight

If I don't go to Ikea for hardware for the new drapes I will be making, I'm going to make pillows.

That is all.

Things to come

Well, I have no actual update as of yet. I do, however, have a few projects coming down the pike. I'm hoping that my lack of nicotine will encourage me to be more active in sewing. You know, keep me distracted, keep my hands busy. We'll see.

My fabric for the living room drapes should be at home when I get there. Jack has agreed to help me with the measuring and the cutting, as I am apparently vehemently opposed to straight lines. I also have some LaCoste pique knit fabric coming, along with some muslin, to make some pillows. I'm not sure how the knit will work, but i'm going to test it out.

I also ordered this: https://www.fabric.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=27ccdbc9-25a5-452d-9a1a-06de36f17ce8, to add to my living room. I'm thinking I might make it into a runner/cover for the cedar chest my grandfather made me. That way, if people sit on it, or put things on it, it will be protected.

When I arrived home from the beach yesterday afternoon, energized from 2.5 days of rest, I ripped out the curtains on the back window. Horrible heavy drapes. I hate them (they are identical to the ones in the living room) and feel wonderful now that they are gone. They went right into the trash, never to be heard from again.

In their place, I will be making roman shades (I think) to match the drapes in the living room. Whereas I feel that the front room really needs drapes/curtains/sheers/whatever, I think they are unnecessary in the dining room, that looks out to the backyard. I'll ditch the ancient miniblinds, I've already ditched the even more ancient drapes and pully system (whatever you call that), and in their places, nice simple roman shades.

So, there you have it. Plenty of projects. I also need to choose a fabric for the shades for the kitchen (also of the roman variety. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

Drapery

So, the quilt is still on hold, due mainly to lack of time.  Perhaps I will get back to it once my life slows down (although I'm not sure it ever will).  

In the meantime, the fabric I wanted for the living room drapes is on sale, so I bought it.  I'm hoping this project won't be the end of me, but I'm thinking it's pretty simple.  And instead of doing a pocket/rod sort of thing, I'm going to use clip on rings for ease of sliding them back and forth.  I'm also thinking that I can buy some cheap sheers somewhere that will do, even if I have to get 4 or 5 panels.  Anyway, maybe I'll have new drapes by the end of September!

Is there even room for my handiwork?

I got the new hardware. I tried it out. It's not perfect, but it's definitely going to go more quickly with the machine than by hand. Also, my fingers shouldn't hurt so much. Unless I stab them with the machine, which is entirely possible.

I haven't made much progress. There's been no progress actually. I just tested out the walking foot, and that was that. Too much going on. Maybe I'll set up this week and see if I can knock it out. Although, after spending all day Saturday walking up and down 3 flights of stairs carrying a massive amount of stuff, I'm not sure they need to bring anything else into the apartment. I'm not sure it would fit.

Closets are already stuffed, couches filled, drawers filled to the brim. And they aren't even done yet. If you looked, you wouldn't even know they'd started unpacking. It's taken away some of the urgency I felt. And this is not a good motivator.

Still, I'm feeling more rested this week, so perhaps after dinner tonight, I'll see what I can do.

On Hold.

The quilt has been put on hold. Not forever. Not even for a long time. I'm waiting for some new hardware to be delivered, so that I can give this machine quilting thing a try before I ruin all of my fingers, or the entire quilt.

It's gone to the new sewing closet (that I'm very pleased about), along with all of my other frequently used sewing items. In cleaning the house last night, I was looking for a convenient and tidy spot to stowe it all without having to return it to the basement. I need to do a little cleaning out and reorganizing of that closet. I think most of it will go to the Salvation Army, actually.

This is all for the best really. This weekend will be a busy one, what with 3 friends moving and the grandparents coming to town, the CBFBB's Elvis tribute and various other possibilities, I need to get my house cleaned before the dawn arrives on Saturday.

So far, I'm making good progress.

This is not for me

So, I pulled out my quilt-to-be last night after dinner, and tried to start quilting. By hand. It's not working. First, I developed the worst hand/elbow/arm cramp of my life, and it ruined my night. I can't get a good angle on the fabric. I can't keep my stitches straight. It looks like crap. It made me angry. If this is the way I have to go, then I'm not doing it. It's too frustrating, too awkward, too much of a pain in the ass.

So, I'm going to try the machine quilting route. I don't know that my machine is the best to do this, but it's gotta be better than my hands. I'll have to make a stop at Joann's, but hopefully it will be well worth it. We'll see.

Backing and Batting and Quilting, Oh My!

So, as you may have already read, I finished the quilt top. It looks rather nice, too. Not perfect, but close enough. Especially for my first actual completed quilt top.

As for the rest of it, I cut out pieces for my backing, sewing them together. That's finished.

Then, disaster struck. I am apparently an idiot, but the bag of batting said it was washable. I guess they meant AFTER it had been put between something. I thought I should wash mine before it went it to prevent shrinkage later, thereby destroying my quilt. Big mistake. The washing machine ruined it. Maybe I'm an idiot, and this is something everyone else knows, but at least I'm admitting it. So at 5:30, I made a mad dash for Joann's and was luckily able to replace it without much hassle at all.

After that was taken care of, I added some personal details to the quilt. First, an embroidered monogram (ok, they were iron-on letters, but they look embroidered). This took longer than expected because I enlisted the eye of my husband and he tends to be painstakingly accurate when it comes to details like this. Then, I turned my attention to the backing, to sew a small inscription. It turned out very nicely.

I also assembled (attempted to assemble) the quilt. I didn't have a great surface and at this point I was tired and hungry, and SO over quilting that I didn't take my time, and I abandoned it. It's for the best really. Otherwise I would have ruined it.

Oh! I also measured and marked my lines for the actual quilting part although after some though on the possible complications, I'm going to be changing my pattern.

I think I accomplished a lot, though, so I don't feel so bad that I didn't power through that last hour. This quilting business really isn't all that bad if you have a little time and the right tools.

I will post pictures tomorrow.

It's Done!

The quilt top, that is.  The shopping trip was successful.  A beautiful day to have the windows down, driving a friend to all sorts of fun stores in P.G.  I spent less than I expected, too, despite a few impulse buys at Target.  I'm tired.  So I'm going to bed.  I just spent 3 hours with the newlyweds who are still glowing.  

I just wanted it on record that I already finished the top.  

I might have this whole thing done within the week!

A Lost Cause?

I told my mother yesterday afternoon that I was going to be making a quilt.

She rolled her eyes, sort of smirked at me, and said "ok" in a very sarcastic sort of way.

She doesn't believe that I will finish it. Not because she doesn't believe in me, not because she thinks I have no talent or ability. But because I have proven in the past that I will not finish things. She has gone with me on numerous occasions to craft stores of all varieties, watched as I filled shopping carts full of neat little tools, big tools, ridiculous tools I would never use. She has helped me fill 30 gallon trash bags full of yarn that was untouched to give to the Salvation Army. She has moved my bins of yarn that I chose to actually keep, bins of beading, bins of sewing, bins of scrapbooking, even a bin of soap making paraphernalia (which almost always makes me think of Fight Club), to and from the various residences I have had in the last several years.

She has praised my jewelry making ability, has encouraged my sewing, my knitting, my crocheting. She was completely on board when I told her I wanted to start quilting. She helped me pick out a sewing machine, helped me decide on things I needed. In fact, my mother used to sew things. She even made her OWN patterns. She is now a self-professed hater of sewing. Still, I see how she enjoys the fabric stores and sifting through the millions of patterns that exist. I find it frustrating because I might really be able to use her knowledge. However, she has apparently locked it away for all eternity.

But still, she laughs. And for good reason. I have completed maybe 5% of the projects I have started. That's not an exaggeration. It may be inaccurate as I have not done an actual analysis, but still. I think I get it from her. We've come across embroidery and cross stitching that has been sitting in bags in the attic or basement for years, yarn that is so brittle it is unusable. Is it an inherited trait, or a learned behavior? Is it just typical of my generation? She followed through on things until she had children, and then she was surely too busy to be doing cute little cross stitches for fear of poking a baby's eye out, too busy to be sewing her own clothes only for them to end up covered in that afternoon's lunch.

I don't have children. I have little responsibility. And still I cannot do it. I'm hoping my lack of follow through is circumstantial as well, though. A lot has happened in the last few years. Now I'm settled down. Now I have room to work.

Now I will prove my mother wrong.

An Expensive Hobby?

I went to bed last night, turned on the tv as I usually do, and in flipping through the channels, landed on HSN. The Home Shopping Network. I, like I'm sure many people do, occassionally get hooked on one of their sales pitches. My favorites are when live demonstrations fail. But I digress.... I came across their Singer Sewing hour. They were showcasing a machine, a sewing machine that could do everything a normal sewing machine could do. But! This can do more, much more. It is an embroidery machine. It connects to your computer. You can create all kinds of designs, text, etc. Whatever your heart desires and your computer can make! It was on special for 799.99. HSN sells it regularly for 999.99. It is close to 1200.00 retail. But it does so much!

It's easy to get sucked in. I watched for 20 minutes as those two women talked, and the machine sat there stitching away. They didn't even have to stay near it, didn't touch it, didn't check it. They were making an apron that said "Diet is a four letter word." Cheesey. I'm thinking about how I don't have 800 dollars for a sewing machine, but wow, isn't that cool? Then I snapped out of it. I'm not going to make aprons with cheesey sayings on them. Or stitch flowers on the lapels of old-lady sweaters. Or make monogrammed towels for bridal showers. OR stitch flower patterns on suits or jeans to get "boutique quality" clothes. I don't care how much that crap costs at a boutique, I still wouldn't wear it.

Instead, I will spend my money on things that will actually benefit me. This list for the quilt (so far):

• 2 yards of coordinating fabric (1 yd of each)
• 4 yards of solid color for backing and binding
• batting
• 1/4" quilting foot
• template plastic
• quilting thread
• size 8 quilter's needle
• safety pins
• glass head straight pins
• washable fabric marker

That's what I have so far. Those are the for sure purchases. Looks like I'm able to spend plenty of money on my own without having to throw in that embroidery machine.

Practice makes semi-perfect

I pulled out my Complete Guide to Quilting last night, bought when I first ventured into the quilting world. I know I said to someone, if not here, that I was going to start out small and leave quilting until I was a sewing pro. I obviously changed my mind. But at least I'm starting small, with a not-too-ambitious project, right?

I have a plan too. I'm going to make a comprehensive list of everything I think I need. I am going to buy all of the parts all at once. I am going to take my time and do this carefully, as the prep time will be worth it in the end. I am researching, and referencing, and learning things as I think about them. I'm feeling confident.

Last night, I found some old pieces of fabric, and practiced my running stitch on them, as if I was making a quilt block. Thought some practice would do me good. As it turns out, practice is not what I need so much as patience. In sewing these blocks together, I started out paying careful attention to what I was doing. My stitches were neat and even. I marked the fabric along the line I needed to sew. I was happy. Then, I got distracted, lazy, bored, arrogant. Take your pick. I stopped marking, I tried sewing, freehand, in a straight line. It wasn't all bad, but far from good. Still, at the end, I had assembled 6 small blocks into two-thirds of a quilt block. It was then that I learned another lesson. Cutting accurately--VERY ACCURATELY--is important. As are proper seam allowances.

So, as it is, practicing sewing doesn't hurt, but I need help with my patience.

The Wedding Quilt

I am in the planning stages of making my belated wedding gift quilt. In researching wedding quilts and their traditions, I came across this story. I think it's safe to say that if this were the case when I was getting married, I would have been a lonely old spinster.

Anyway.

I've been doing some research to see if I can find a more traditional pattern. I would love to do something like this; however, I would never finish it. Not with the low level experience I have. Perhaps by the time my children get married I'll have the knowledge, ability, and time to create something like that.

In researching, I am finding a wealth of information on the traditions of quilts. It seems many stories are just myths, but all the same, quilts, for me at least, signal a connection to the past. It isn't rare for families to have quilts passed down for generations, or to go to a small community rich in tradition, and poor in modern day infatuations with television and malls and fast-paced living and find a rich quilting community, rooms of quilts from one hundred years ago, and craft shows with many different quilts on display. I don't know. I just like that feeling of connection to the past, and perhaps, connection to the future. The idea that quilts can be everlasting pleases me. That I can make a quilt for someone, and they will hopefully have it forever and will perhaps give it to someone else makes me happy, makes me feel connected.

This is sentimental. I get that. But it's ok. Quilting has been around for a very long time and there must be a reason why. I also would like to give a piece of myself to these friends. Friends who I know would appreciate and treasure it. Even if they do spill beer on it or let their future children use it as a tent. That's what will give it it's character.

At any rate, I'm not going to be creating anything elaborate anytime soon. I will stick with my 10" blocks to make a smallish throw for tv watching. I'm not sure I can even quilt something completely plain and unfancified. I do, however, know that I lay in bed at night going over and over directions I've read until I figure it out. I think I understand now how the binding works. At least in theory. And that is an accomplishment.

Here's hoping that I have enough money this weekend to go to Joann's and get what I need.

Side Projects

I made two coasters last night. They aren't anything fancy. Just a 5.5" x 5.5" square with the ends folded over 1/4" twice. I hand sewed them. The machine wasn't doing it. I probably need a different presser foot or something. And after almost sewing my finger to the stupid coaster, I decided it was small enough to hand sew, and so I did. They actually aren't bad for being a quick project.

I'm planning on giving them away.

I've come to a tough point in the gumdrop pillow. I don't understand the pattern directions to attach the two halves to make a whole pillow cover. I'll get back to that when I have patience to deal with that.

In the mean time, I'm planning the quilt. I was originally planning something more complicated, but I'd rather do something relatively simple and straightforward so that I'll be more likely to finish, so that it will look nice, and so that it can be done quickly. I'm thinking something like 8", 10", or 12" blocks with a nice border. That won't take too long. I'd like to monogram it too. But I might have to just use iron-on letters if they don't look too cheesy.

I feel like I'm really hitting my stride, and I'm learning a lot already. Most importantly that sewing is not cheap, BUT, the cost of buying all this stuff would surely surpass the cost of the raw materials. And sure, I'm spending my free time doing this, so from an economic perspective it's probably not paying off. But I wouldn't be doing much of anything anyway, so why not be productive, right?

Candyland

Well, I'm back from the wedding, which was lovely, everything went off without a hitch.  Bride and Groom are very happy people, and will soon leave for their honeymoon.  In 4 hours to be exact.  But I'm not here to talk about weddings, or events of the weekend.  

This afternoon, having returned from Gettysburg tired, achy and slightly hungover, while my other half was taking a nice long nap, I began my gumdrop pillow project.  I'm making the ottoman to be exact.  It's not a simple project, in my opinion, but not so complicated that I can't tackle it.  Right off the bat, though, I made a mistake.  I could blame it on my lack of sleep (no rest until 4am this morning due to drunken antics in the room next to mine, friends who I abandoned around 2am, after convincing my husband, rather easily, to shut the adjoining door and come to bed), or the several vodka tonics I drank at the reception the previous night, but if I'm being honest, my mistake was due to my inability (adamant refusal) to read directions properly.  As a result, I wasted close to half of my first fabric by marking it wrong, and then cutting it wrong.  Luckily, I realized my mistake rather quickly, and cut out the pattern correctly.  

I know how have 4 panels sewn together, thus I have half of the pillow cover completed.  

I need some additional items if I want to continue much further.  I was looking forward to a trip somewhere with my mother tomorrow, but alas, she is sunning herself on the shores of Jersey.  I will not even try to hide my jealousy.  Perhaps I will try to go sometime this week after work if I am so inclined, and if it does not conflict with the possible raiding (in a good way) of the newlyweds' recently acquired apartment.  

At any rate, as is my usual m.o., I already have more projects slated.  My drapery lining should be arriving by Monday, and hopefully I will encounter some affordable as well as acceptable fabric for the drapes.  I also decided on the drive home, as I was reflecting on the events of the previous two days, that I will make a quilt for the new couple.  Perhaps overly ambitious, as well as a little late.  But I think they will appreciate it.   I should be able to do it affordably and simply.  

Wish me luck.

Sweet Victory

The pillow is finished.  After closer inspection of the hand sewn closing seam, I decided to just leave it for now.  If the poor thing falls apart, I will fix it then.  My perfectionist tendencies cause me to re-do things over and over until they turn out worse than they were in the first place.  I'm pleased with it over all.  The next one will be better and the sense of accomplishment I have is motivation enough.  I'd start on another one tonight, but I don't have enough material to make the pillow lining.  Anyway.

Things I learned tonight:

• Less is more when it comes to pillow stuffing
  
• 5 inch doll maker's needles are scary
  
• Tufted 25 inch pillows are not that hard to make
• It's fun to cover buttons.  You should really try it.

If I had someone to cut the fabric for me, I'd plow through these like nobody's business.  Unfortunately, I am not at a point where I can afford employees for my hobbies.    

This picture is not the best, perhaps a better one will come soon.  But there it is.  My pillow.  Not too shabby for the first one, don't you think?

On a slightly different note, I bought lining for my future drapes today.  If the fabric I want ever goes on sale, my living room will get a face lift, and my new pillow will have a new home.

God created man to create machines for a reason

Last night, after various chores had been completed, I sat down to watch tv and picked up my pillow form, liner, whatever you want to call it. I made a few stitches. It wasn't so bad, but I quickly ran out of patience, and my fingers were bleeding. All the confidence I had built the previous night was shattered. I put it down. I picked it up. My attention was waning, but I really really really want to accomplish this. So, I stomped downstairs, grabbed the sewing machine, and took it to my dining room table and set it up.

We fought for a little while. I brought over my pillow form, and tried to sew it closed. The thread broke, as it always does. I couldn't keep it going straight. But I was determined. And finally, after what seemed like forever, but was probably just 10 minutes, it all came together. I sewed that pillow form's seams. It took 5 minutes. FIVE! The machine worked, and it worked fast, and it worked well. What was I thinking hand sewing? It took me two hours to get halfway through that pillow form. It took me 2 minutes to do the rest with that glorious machine.

Which left me enough time to cut, pin and sew the outside pillow cover. Which took maybe 10 minutes to sew with that machine. The real challenge of the evening was sewing the outside cover shut without the seam showing. That was tough, especially because it was a full pillow, filled with 1.5 pounds of poly-fil stuffing. The seam is messy. I didn't know how to finish it off. That is what seam rippers are for.

To the casual observer, it probably doesn't matter. But the integrity of the pillow is at stake. So, either way, I'm almost done. Just that tricky seam and the decorative buttons.

The point of this story is this:

I should have just started with that machine. Instead of going the hand sewing route. I could have made 5 pillows by now!

Ok. Maybe just 1. Possibly 2 if I had been really determined.

But still. I'm in love with this machine. I have a feeling we're going to be good friends.

The Pillow

Last night, I began my first sewing project. Ok. Not the first one, as several months ago (could it be a year now?) I decided to take up quilting. It was much more difficult than I imagined. Difficult in that there are too many steps and I have a short attention span. After a few small quilt tops that never met their backing, I decided to take a step back and begin sewing. And then life happened, and home buying happened, and moving happened, and mess happened, and the sewing machine and all of its companions were lost.

Until now.

A friend, the baron, showed me some of her favorite fabrics, and I decided that I would be using these fabrics to make wonderful home accessories. So I bought fabric. And it sat for a week. Then this past weekend, I went to the bookstore and bought a book of projects and patterns, and settled on a pillow. It is large, but it is relatively simple. I went to get the notions I needed last night at the behest of my husband who insists I just think about projects without doing. Now I have to prove him wrong.

When I got home, after a small bowl of my new favorite frozen yogurt, I arranged all of the tools I would need. I cleared off the coffee table (which is not an adequate workspace) and unfolded my fabric to measure and mark where I needed to cut. And then I cut the liner. It was not straight. I am not good with scissors. Maybe I missed that day in kindergarten. But I powered through. I pinned the ends together, and against the advice of the book of patterns, I began sewing by hand. Mostly because I didn't feel like setting up the sewing machine. Turns out sewing by hand is harder than walking downstairs to get my machine and plugging it into the wall, and now my fingers hurt. However, I find that ten thousand back stitches in a row is rather relaxing, and half way through my pillow liner seam, the stitches are even and strong.

I am getting better already.